Marking the Stone and Laying it to Rest

Yesterday we travelled to my Mom and Dad’s shortly after picking up Emma’s pet marker from the monument company. It’s been a month now since Emma was buried in the backyard. I knew Mom and Dad would be ready for the stone to mark her spot in the yard next to Bull and Dayzi. Daddy went out alone to dig the hole for the marker, which stood about ten inches tall. He came back in and said it was time to set the marker. The remaining four of us joined him outside for the ceremonial placement of the stone.

We were all sad to mark Emma’s spot, but the task required dignity, respect and honor, and I was pleased to see my children offering all three for our friend and pet.

I checked in on Bull and Dayzi, brushed some grass away from their markers, and smiled at the happy memories they placed within my childhood. My kids will remember Emma in much the same way.

 

You are greatly missed, sweet Lemon. We do love you so.

Ode to Blanket "Bebbit" Mainiero

When Aaron was born, we had a plethora of wooly-soft baby blankets. Some solid, some plaid, some with frogs and trains on them, and all of them toasty warm. I LOVED his baby blankets. He was never partial to any blanket as an infant. But then he turned a year old, and I vamoosed the baby bottle and the pacifier in one fell swoop. My mother-in-law called me cruel, and others may agree. But I saw it as a way to oust two potential crutches before he was verbose enough to complain about them being gone. So that was my rule with both kids… Celebrate the First Birthday, Toss the Binkie and Bottle, Move On to Toddlerdom.

It was at the Toss the Binkie and Bottle moment that Aaron, without complaining about what was missing, latched onto what was still available... a sweet little woven blanket which happened to be in the exact pattern theme of his nursery – John Lennon’s Imagine Collection. (I recall being about 4 months pregnant, standing in Burlington’s Baby Depot and pulling the butt-string of a blue musical JL elephant. It played a music-box version of Imagine, and as I imagined this unborn baby of mine “cheering all the world,” I started to cry right there in the store. Any question of my pending nursery theme was instantly settled. Now that you’ve been dragged down my Memory Lane, back to Aaron and the blanket…)

Aaron decided that this woven softie was his new security device. In his adorable one-year-old voice, he would call it “Bebbit,” clutch it with those precious tiny-boy hands, and take off. He toted that blanket everywhere! If we ever left Bebbit behind, the ensuing panic was so dramatic that I ended up purchasing two more identical blankets to keep at the grandmas' houses. So, all total we had three completely interchangeable blankets. One was just as good as the other two, and all three were far superior to any other scrap of material ever offered. As Aaron grew and began to start preschool, it was going to be a challenge to leave Blanket behind for a whole school day. Blanket got to travel to school for naptimes, and it would come home with us at the end of the week for washing. (Remember, we still had two others on hand.) You may be curious as to my capitalization of the word Blanket. Well, one day when he was 4, Aaron was naming all members of the family – "Aaron Mainiero, Mommy Mainiero, Daddy Mainiero, Victoria Mainiero" – and then announced there was a fifth member. I looked at him quizzically, and he cheerfully exclaimed, “Blanket Mainiero!!”

As with all childhood treasures, the years were not particularly kind to Blanket Mainiero. Faded, stringy, and suffering several rips, one of the three Blankets ended up with the nickname of Holy Moley, and was relegated to staying at Grandmama’s house for emergency purposes only. By the time Aaron was in Kindergarten, Blanket was an after-school buddy. By the time two more years had passed, Blanket was a night-time and weekend morning buddy. Blanket still hangs out with Aaron at night, but today something happened that made me choke back tears. Blanket has been riding around this summer in a duffle-bag of sorts, along with all the books and video games that the kids think they need at Grandmama’s house. Today, as we prepared to go visit my parents, Aaron was sifting through the bag. I saw him toss Blanket onto the kitchen table and stuff something into his pocket as he headed to the door. For some reason, this struck me. Out of sheer habitual compassion for Blanket, I asked, “Aaron, do you have everything you need?”

“Yes ma’am. I got my iPod and my wallet. I’m good.” And with that he slipped out the door.

My watery eyes rested on the crumpled pile of fabric on our table as through my mind floated all the times we rushed back in from the garage to grab Blanket, or worse yet, backtracked five city blocks because we were that far away from home when he realized Blanket had been left behind. We’ve travelled everywhere with Blanket for nearly a solid decade. I thought of all the times my baby boy tucked that soft fabric up under his arm, letting the tail of it drag the floor behind him. And I thought of how fast my precious son is growing up, and how proud I am for all the things that he knows and understands and feels. It took me a moment to regain my composure. I sucked it up and joined the kids in the car. But be assured, I cannot type this without crying. Such are the moments that take my breath away.

My Creed

I am in the process of making my Life List / Bucket List, which is taking longer than it should because I over-analyze things, and I’m left wondering if my list is too dumb. But, as important as what I want to do in this life is what I truly believe while I am here. There are many things that I feel at my core, most of which I share repeatedly with my children in an effort to make them better members of society. This creed, if you will, is not some pie-in-the-sky daydream of a tree-huggin’ conservative, as contradictory as that may sound. This is my belief system, this is what makes me who I am, and this is what I try to live every day. Some days I fail miserably. Other days I truly get it, I live it, and there is order in my universe.

I believe that happiness is a choice. It doesn’t just happen to you. It doesn’t come from things or people or money. It is a choice of attitude. You can be the richest person in the world, buying all the stuff your heart desires, and still be pretty darn miserable if you choose to be. Happiness is a choice, and it is worth choosing every day.

I believe that peace on earth begins at home. We parents are responsible for shaping tomorrow’s adults, and we will shape them solely by our example. They will not listen so much to what we say, but they will emulate how we live. I believe it is my job, my purpose in the home, to teach my children by example to resolve conflict peacefully, to respect the inherent value of other people, and to exercise self-control for the greater good.

I believe that I should care what others think of me. Not from an I-have-to-please-everyone perspective, but rather as a means of self-evaluation. Petty opinions of me should not change who I am. But there are three things that people who meet and know me should never have to question: 1) my Christianity; 2) my integrity; and 3) my love for my husband. If anyone ever finds reason to think I am not honoring those three most important facets of my life by my words and my actions, then I need to seriously re-evaluate how I’m living.

I believe that the heart, mind and soul work together to create individual and universal harmony. If there is conflict within one of those three, there will be stress and outward signs of demise in the other two. I believe that nature has provided us everything we need to be whole; we just have to listen.

I believe that everyone’s purpose on this earth, while varied in the way in which we are supposed to learn it and carry it out, is to learn to love each other. Yeah, there are some pretty tough people to love out there. Some people I’d probably rather not deal with, based on their actions or attitudes. But when was the last time I evaluated myself with a critical eye and came out smelling like a rose? I do believe in God, I do believe he loves me, and I do believe I can never, ever earn or deserve that love. But I also believe he is my example to follow, and so I believe that I must love others.

I believe that having a job that you enjoy is more important than having a job that pays more money. If you’re fulfilled by your job, it doesn’t feel like work. And I believe that service is more important than salary.

I believe that the only thing that makes us any different from each other is our opinions. Not our skin, not our flag, not our education, not our political affiliation, not our neighborhood, nor our religion. All these things culminate in our lives for the sole purpose of shaping our opinions – how we think and feel about our world and others in it. It is those opinions that separate us from each other. There is no reason for one person to feel greater than or less than any other person on this earth, when the only real difference between them is merely a thought.

I believe that there is more to life than what we see, that love is stronger than death, and that peace is never wrong.

You Shall Not Harm Harry Potter!

Remember Dobby’s warning to Malfoy in The Chamber of Secrets right after he’d been given the sock? We said this very same thing to Mabel yesterday, in much the same voice.

As usual, I was on the computer and Mason was asleep on the floor behind my chair. Mabel was wandering around downstairs. She has recently discovered the bunnies in Vic’s room, and loves to bark at them, so we gate the stairs to keep her away from them and give them some peace. Anyhoo, I knew Mabel was safe downstairs, and figured she was probably asleep in the garden room, where I often find her lately when I assume she is into mischief. So this time, I didn’t bother to investigate.

Big mistake. Huge!

Apparently, Mabel felt like doing a little reading, because we found pieces of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone littering three rooms. Victoria was aggravated because she was the one currently reading the book (and likely the one who had left it in Mabel’s reach.)

So now Mabel has earned herself the nickname of Malfoy, with all her mischievous intentions. I can’t exactly call her Voldemort, because she is not purely evil. She’s Malfoy…meddling around and being a real PITA to Harry, and sometimes to us.

Ya Know, Some Days Ya Just Gotta Laugh

Elaine and I have a saying: We can't make this stuff up! Case in point: my home voice-mail message today, from a fellow mom whom I have never met. She is organizing a back-to-school party for one of my children’s classes. She sounded sweet when she introduced herself to my answering machine, stated her purpose for calling, and then offered that I could call her back to let her know if I wanted to bring brownies or coke or something. Nevermind that she didn’t state when the party will be. But the really fun part was at the end, when she thought she had hung up the phone and continued talking, but in a much less sweet, more sarcastic voice, “…or let me know if you’re just gonna friggin’ show up!”

Doesn’t that just make me wanna bake all night and go party down with that crew!!!! Hmmm. I think we’re busy that day.

My Girls

Another reason to love this life.  My girls, chllin' on the sofa. 

Vic and Mabel, July 18, 2010

Happy Birthday, Margie!

Today is Margie’s birthday, another of my beloved co-workers, and it is my privilege to honor her with a birthday meme. This is a significant birthday, by the way, and I hope she doesn’t kill me for going “live” with the news: Margie is 50 today!!!!!! We have appropriately draped her office in black. I know she will get a kick out of it, because she’s fun like that. So, without further adieu, here are the Top Ten reasons I think Margie is so darned awesome (drum roll, please…)

1. Because she can be counted on to wear festive springy-antennae headbands for every holiday.

2. Her rum cake. Need I say more???

3. Because she is known to put crazy signs like this on her office door:

4. Because she is one of my Mom Role Models.

5. Because when I need to vent, she’s there to listen. And then she shows me the humorous side of the situation.

6. Because she knows what I weigh…and judges not.

7. Because she is always willing to convert any recipe we bring her into a healthier concoction.

8. Because we have stood shoulder to shoulder in battle. Granted, the battle front was the postage machine, but we were both exhausted and covered in red ink, so it resembled the worst of any office battle we’d ever seen.

9. Because when I reply to her emails, I’m usually crass and quippy, and it makes her laugh out loud instantly. I love that laugh!

10. Because she is beautiful inside and out, a captivating spirit and a treasured friend.

Happy Birthday, Margie. You rock!

Happy Birthday to Mickey!

Today is my friend and co-worker Mickey’s birthday. We are planning to celebrate in the next few minutes, after which I am convinced we will all be in a sugar-induced coma, and our diets will be shot for the day. So, I need to get this posted now. In the spirit of birthday blogs, I offer the following TOP TEN reasons I love Mickey.

1. She counsels me through my maternal meltdowns.

2. She cleverly decorates our Halloween pumpkin candy-holder to fit all holidays. My favorite was the purple cloth drape covering the pumpkin (and its supply of candy) during Lent.

3. Age is just a number! Mickey is the forever kind of young we all hope to be.

4. She makes a killer muffaletta pasta.

5. She has experienced every school-age homework crisis one can imagine, and she assures me they are all temporary.

6. She has some crazy hysterical stories of things she has done. My favorite of these involves her husband’s boat. ;)

7. She likes details. I like details. We work well together. 

8. She has taught religious education, and is always willing to share great ideas with me for my class.

9. She loves Van Halen. And she informed me of the difference between “Van Halen with David Lee Roth…and that other crap.”

10. She is a survivor. I would wear pink any day for her.

Have a wonderful birthday, Mickey!!!

Thimblefuls of Happiness

You know, sometimes it’s the smallest things that bring joy to an otherwise mundane day. I’m amazed at how thrilled I can get over things other people would hardly notice, so much so that I find myself thinking, Wow…I need a life! I frequently smile over seemingly insignificant things, so it makes me wonder if this means I have a rather simple view of life, or if it just means I’m an eternal optimist, perpetually seeking the positive no matter how trivial the positive may appear. I prefer to think that the latter reason is the most accurate. You, however, may read this post and come away thinking that I really just need more to do.

The things that bring unparalleled joy to my day, in no particular order:

• Victoria’s laugh

• Aaron’s no-other-reason-than-I-wanted-to-hug-you hugs

• Adding up the daily deposit and getting the same number twice

• Bud Light’s Real Men of Genius commercials

• Phone calls from Dom during work

• Opening a shipment of new office supplies (I love pens!)

• Mason’s tail wagging – for whatever reason he finds to wag it

• Snuggling a bunny rabbit

• Installing a new computer program

• Testing my fish tank water and finding that everything is in balance

• Birds on my bird feeder – especially cardinals

• Seeing a cardinal in my yard while I’m on the phone with Mom

• Finding my shoes after two days of looking for them

• Holding Dom’s hand immediately after the Our Father during Mass, when everyone else has let go

• Fresh iced tea in the staff lounge

• Getting a new app on my phone

• Watching Mabel when she’s tired

• Sitting on the swing in the backyard

• Getting a new issue of Southern Living in the mail

• Looking through a new recipe book

• Hearing about Dom’s day

• Being at- or under-budget at the grocery store

• Blooms on my gladiolas

• Heck, in this heat, blooms on anything in my flowerbed!

• Emails that tell me the pollen count is dropping

• Convincing myself to spend the money on a dress and then finding out at the register that it’s on sale

• The moment our receptionist notifies us that the city has turned our office water back on

• A full tank of gas

• Buying materials for a home improvement project

• Emptying my file of co-workers’ phone expense reimbursements (usually in pennies)

• Starbucks Fridays

• Knowing Margie just read an email from me because I can hear her laughing all the way down the hall

• Postal holidays (paid for dearly on the next business day, but for a brief moment, it’s all worth it!)

• Finding Italian Shoemakers sandals on sale

• Spray painting anything

• Sparkly lip gloss

• Cooking dinner when I’ve actually had time to prepare and do it right with fresh ingredients

• Folding laundry that Dom has laid out neatly so that my time investment in the chore is cut by two-thirds

See? Not a lot of wow. Just a lot to be grateful for.